


See the Mountains where they meet

by voices_in_my_head



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: 52 weeks challenge, this is basically me being in love with Ushijima
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-11
Updated: 2016-02-11
Packaged: 2018-05-19 19:14:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,909
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5978098
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/voices_in_my_head/pseuds/voices_in_my_head
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>" (...) university really was the time to try new things, even those he’d never even thought he would want to or had need of."</p>
            </blockquote>





	See the Mountains where they meet

**Author's Note:**

> I was going to write ushioi for this week... but 4k in and I'd barely mentioned Oikawa and by 10k I'd accepted that this is literally me gushing over Ushijima and being like, "what if he went to uni?" "what if he did this?" "what if he said this?" so yeah, enjoy my love for him.
> 
> Prompt for this week was: A story about finding something that has been lost. So basically Ushijima never really thought of having the "normal" teenager experience - hell, what even is that? - but then he actually gets to have it. Yeah, I think we've all accepted that I'm interpreting the prompts very loosely.

It had taken Wakatoshi almost four hours to have his room the way he wanted it. It did not feel like his own at home; it was smaller, the bed was in the wrong position and the window was too small, to state but a few of the differences. Yet, after he’d put all his clothes in the closet and had alphabetically ordered his books, it seemed like a place he could at least live in.

He spent the hour before his mother came around putting a schedule together. Between volleyball practices, his own personal regime and classes and studying, it did not leave him with much free time, but it was the way he was used to living. Back home, he had spent that time helping around the farm. Wakatoshi had left Miyaji less than a day before, so he wasn’t missing it yet, but he wasn’t someone that particularly liked a change in routine, and moving to university was nothing if not changes.

When his mother opened his dorm door, he was sitting in his bed, blankly looking at the desk in front of it.

“Oh, sweetie,” his mother said and joined him, grabbing his right hand and holding it between her smaller ones. “I know this is a big change, but you’re going to make it. You always do. You’re going to meet new people and make new memories, some you wish you could forget,” she said with a wink and laughter. Wakatoshi looked at her at that, scrunching his nose. “Oh you know what I mean, Toshi. University is the time to try new things. Just be careful and know your limits. I will not bail you out of prison.”

Wakatoshi looked at her in a manner that clearly stated that that would not be happening any time soon and she laughed again. “You might finally meet a special someone,” she winked again, while he just stared at her. “Don’t forget, if you go on a date, you should bring them flowers and always compliment what they’re wearing. And open the door for them, and pay.”

“What if it’s a boy?” Wakatoshi asked, more to indulge her, knowing how much his mother liked to distribute advice, than because he honestly wanted to know.

“It does not matter! I raised you better than that, Toshi! You’re a gentleman,” she gave a sigh, “if you frowned a bit less people would be piling up to ask you out.”

“But then I would have no time for volleyball,” he replied immediately.

“One day, Toshi, you’ll meet someone and you’ll be okay with spending time with them instead of playing volleyball. And that’s when you’ll know you’re in love,” she smiled dreamily, “I can’t wait to meet them!”

“Mother-“ he started, wanting to put a stop to her fantasies.

She laughed and interrupted him, “I know, I know, I’m getting ahead of myself. You’re just now going to university and I’m already picturing your wedding…” she grabbed onto his cheeks. “My little boy is growing up.”

“Please do not cry.”

His mother smiled, “don’t worry, I won’t. It will be a hard change, for both of us, but it’s a good one. I’m very proud of you, I hope you know that.”

Wakatoshi nodded, feeling a blush starting to appear on his cheeks. He was used to being complimented, usually regarding his plays, but his mother saying that… Well, it certainly made him happy.

“Now, come on,” she said, getting up and putting her dress back in place. “Let’s go to dinner. I don’t want to start driving very late.”

“Please call me when you arrive home.”

His mother laughed, “of course. Now, what do you want to eat?”

.

On the first day of class, Wakatoshi saw a familiar and unexpected face. Akimiya Noboru looked at him like he wasn’t sure if he should run and never come back or go and get a sword to fight him. Wakatoshi was aware that most students that had faced him and lost, usually felt animosity towards him, but in this case he hoped they would be able to get past that. Deciding that there would be no better chance to take his mother’s advice and try to get new friends, he started walking towards him.

“Akimiya Noboru,” he said his name when he reached him, for a better thing to say.

“Ushijima-kun. I didn’t know you were taking Environmental Sciences,” Akimiya said, with a strained smile. Everyone said Wakatoshi was unaware of the proper social etiquette, yet he could see Akimiya didn’t feel completely comfortable with his approach.

“I am. I will see you in classes,” Wakatoshi said and prepared to walk away.

“Wait,” Akimiya called and he turned around. “We could sit together, if you want. It’s not like I know anyone around here.”

“I thought you did not like me.”

Akimiya laughed. It didn’t sound completely honest, but it wasn’t mean either. Like he had been caught by surprise, perhaps.

“You really are as honest as people say,” Akimiya smiled at him, big and showing his teeth. “I don’t hate you. You won fair and square. It wouldn’t be fair to hold a grudge because of that. Besides, that was high school and this is university. No one I know moved to Tokyo, so I would very much like to be your friend. If you’d like that, of course.”

“I would,” Wakatoshi replied and Akimiya smiled again.

“Great! So, shall we walk?”

“Yes,” Wakatoshi answered and they started walking. Akimiya talked most of the way and Wakatoshi could tell it was because he felt nervous so he tried to respond with more than one syllable and by the time they had sat down, he felt like if he didn’t have a friend, then he was on the path to gaining one.

.

Akimiya left him before volleyball practice started.

“I love volleyball but I have to concentrate on my studies. I hope practice goes well! Text me when it’s done!” He said excitedly and then he was walking away and waving. Wakatoshi waved back, giving a small smile to the other’s back.

He knew he was around twenty minutes earlier but he did not know what type of practice they would have, so he’d prefer to warm-up first.

To his surprise, when he was finally dressed and inside the gym he found it already alive.

Some people stopped talking to look at him, but most just continued stretching. He found someone from his dorm residence and nodded at him, receiving a nod back and then he went to run for some minutes.

Slowly more people started coming in, but he didn’t pay them much attention.

“Ushijima! You’re here! We’re going to be part of the same team! Man, this is going to be awesome. Wait until I tell Kuroo. He’s going to be so jealous. But don’t think that just because you’re ranked better I’m not going to fight for the wing spiker position!” Wakatoshi looked up to find Bokuto Koutarou smiling at him.

“Bokuto.”

“Yeap, it’s me. Whatcha think of the university?”

“It has a very good research program,” he replied and Bokuto laughed like he’d just told the most amusing joke. Wakatoshi just went back to stretching. He’d known Bokuto for several years and he knew that if the other wanted to talk, he would, whether he had an active audience or not.

“What are you studying? I’m studying Linguistics and French. I know, I bet you’re surprised but yes, I do speak French. Well, not that well… But I’m improving! What are you studying?”

“Environmental sciences.”

“Oh, really? That sounds super smart. And everyone thinks we athletes suck at school… I’m sure you’re actually super smart.”

Wakatoshi thought there might have been an insult somewhere in there, but he just nodded. Knowing Bokuto it seemed unlikely he’d not simply come out and say what he wanted. That was what he liked about the other player. He was just as honest as Wakatoshi himself. Unfortunately, he was also too loud and energetic. Wakatoshi tried not to spend too much time around him, fearing a migraine.

A whistle sounded, stopping Bokuto mid rant about a girl in one of his classes who had arrived late and had made a lot of noise, and Wakatoshi got up to walk towards the Coach, who was lined up with two co-coaches and the captain of the team.

When Wakatoshi was walking he noticed a familiar figure. He had had no idea Oikawa had decided to go to Tsukuba too.

Oikawa caught him looking and glared at him. Apparently the other was not ready to let go of his infantile grudge. It was not like Wakatoshi had ever been cruel to him. He was aware Oikawa had not always looked well at the way he’d always said, “you should have come to Shiratorizawa” but he’d never understood that. Shiratorizawa only accepted the best. It had always been meant as a compliment. But finally he would be able to play with the other.

“Welcome to all first years. I hope you’ve settled down well and that you are enjoying classes. Today we will do simple exercises, so that we can see each’s ability. The first match is in less than a month and only the best get to play. We have several promising first years,” here, he glanced quickly around the room, from Wakatoshi to Bokuto, “and we expect nothing but for you to give your best. If you do not think you can do that and still concentrate on your studies, we will understand, but please leave if that is the case.”

No one did and the Coach smiled, “I’m looking forward to see the ones that will survive these next two weeks.”

The Captain next to him smirked, alongside several of the older years. Some of them, however, seemed to look at the rookies with pity. It was no matter, Wakatoshi thought, he had survived years at Shiratorizawa, where the training regiments had led his teammates to throwing up often and where only one third of the first years stayed after the first month. He would best this as well.

The Coach told them to run until he whistled for them to stop and so they did.

They ran for at least thirty minutes. Several people were walking by the end. A few, including Bokuto and Oikawa, were still running but had clearly lost some of their energy. When the whistle finally came, Wakatoshi was the only one that had kept the same rhythm for the whole run. He had not gone at his fastest, knowing right away that it would not be a quick run asked of them. He was sweating and smelling, yet his breathing wasn’t coming much shorter. He had spent the break running every day, one hour in the mornings and another at night, alongside several exercises, like push-ups and squats. He was aware that slacking off for a single day might unwind all the hard work he’d put into making his body run smoothly and he was unwilling to take that chance.

“Of course Ushiwaka is not even tired. Are you a machine?” Oikawa asked next to him, once he’d regained his breath, although he still sounded winded.

Wakatoshi blinked at him. He had to admit he hadn’t expected for Oikawa to talk to him for at least a month. Perhaps two, depending on how bored he was.

“No. I follow a strict training regimen.”

Oikawa snorted, and Wakatoshi couldn’t tell if he didn’t believe, or if he did and was mocking him. He’d never been that good at figuring the other out, and he didn’t think that would change any time soon.

“Of course you do. Can’t go to the nationals without it. Oh, wait, you didn’t go to the nationals this time, did you?”

Ah, so he was here to gloat. To be fair, Wakatoshi had been expecting this to happen sooner. He’d known Oikawa and Iwaizumi had watched that final match, yet he’d never been approached afterwards or really, anytime during the break.

“No, I was not. Shiratorizawa lost to Karasuno, as I’m sure you are aware.”

“Shiratorizawa lost? I’m sure those aren’t words you ever expected to say, am I right, Ushiwaka?” Oikawa said, deciding to ignore the last part of his statement, apparently.

“I would like it if you used my name correctively.”

“What and stop the tradition? You know people all over the country have started calling you that?” He smirked and Wakatoshi was reminded that while Oikawa was one of the best volleyball players he’d had the fortune of encountering, his personality was… not something Wakatoshi would call pleasant, and yes, he was aware that most people would find that ironic coming from him.

“All the same, my name is Ushijima. I don’t like to be called Ushiwaka,” although he had to admit that Oikawa had a point. People he’d never met before now called him Ushiwaka and to his chagrin, he actually answered to it.

“I’m sure there’s a lot of things you don’t like. Like losing. Yet…” Oikawa moved his hands, as if saying, “this is the way things are”, “it’s happened.”

“Yes. I am not the only one that suffered a lost against Karasuno,” Wakatoshi said before he could stop himself. It was a low blow and he was aware from the minute the words had left his mouth, yet there was something about Oikawa that made him want to be petty.

Oikawa squinted at that, “yes, I did. Guess it didn’t matter if I went to Aoba Jouhsai or Shiratorizawa, in the end.”

Wakatoshi opened his mouth to say otherwise; if Oikawa had been there he is sure they would not have lost, yet he closed it before words came out. That would be an insult to everyone on his team, who had worked as hard as him.

Oikawa seemed to understand that, for he finally left him alone.

“Uh, is everything okay? I was pretty sure you guys were going to come to blows. Were you? ‘Cuz I have a bet with Kuroo about it.”

Wakatoshi looked to his right to blink at Bokuto. “I do not resort to physical violence to resolve my conflicts.”

Bokuto gave him a smile, which could almost be called dirty, and winked. “Yeah, but I’m sure you’d still like to resolve it physically. I mean, the UST? You guys should definitely take that out of your system.”

“I have no idea what you mean,” Wakatoshi replied and really, he did not. What even was UST? He made a mental note to search it up when he went back to his room.

Bokuto winked again, “I’m sure you don’t. Now, come on. We still got practice,” Bokuto slapped his back and then he was jogging away.

Wakatoshi followed him. He felt that Bokuto might be trying to be his friend as well. He was not sure what he felt about that, but at least he could tell his mother that he was making friends.

.

Two weeks went by and Wakatoshi could now say that Akimiya and Bokuto were his friends and the three of them spent most of their breaks together, even though Bokuto’s classes were far away. He’d even been introduced to Kuroo Tetsurou, who was not as loud as Bokuto, yet managed to be almost as annoying. Especially the cryptic things he kept saying, usually involving UST in their volleyball team and Wakatoshi was finally aware of what the term meant, yet he still didn’t understand who they expected him to have unresolved sexual tension with.

He could also say that Oikawa was definitely holding a grudge that was not going away any time soon. After a week the remarks about Shiratorizawa losing had stopped, but only to be replaced by remarks about everything that was wrong with Wakatoshi. The way he dressed, his hair cut, the way he talked… the only thing not mentioned was his playing style, although he was always glaring at him. Oikawa also did not accept to play with him until absolutely commanded to.

Wakatoshi was not sure what to do about this. Apologize? He did not see what he had done wrong for that to be necessary.

“I used to have a girlfriend that was always irritated at me… No idea what about, but it’s just easy to say sorry, even if you don’t mean it,” Kuroo had said when the subject of Oikawa’s rivalry with him had come up. Wakatoshi was pretty sure there was some hidden meaning in his words, but instead he had simply stated that apologizing without honesty or without knowing the reason was no real apology.

Kuroo and Bokuto had laughed at that, while Akamiya had sent him a smile that he’d started to realize was fond. “Oh man, you’re too pure for this world,” Kuroo had said between mouthfuls of laughter.

“I’m sure he wishes he wasn’t,” Bokuto had replied and that had made them laugh harder while Wakatoshi had started to question his life choices.

In the end no one had given him good advice, or at least any that he was willing to follow. Why Bokuto had kept telling him to get Oikawa flowers, he did not know. He was not planning on asking the other out, simply to put their rivalry behind them. Besides, from what he knew of Oikawa, he was pretty sure he would throw the flowers at his face, especially if they had peaks.

By the time the third week came around Oikawa had simply stopped talking to him. Wakatoshi did not miss the insults, yet their relationship as teammates was not improving.

“Maybe you should get him chocolates,” Akimiya told him, when the subject came back up, while they were waiting for the lecturer to arrive.

“I do not wish to date him.”

Akimiya sent him a look at that. It was one he was starting to get used to receiving from not only him, but Bokuto and Kuroo as well. He had not asked them why yet, but he would in the near future.

“It doesn’t matter either way. I’ve heard that Oikawa-kun has a sweet tooth. I’m sure he’d love them.”

“He would probably say I had poisoned them. Or that I was trying to destroy his slim figure.”

“Oh, you think he has a slim figure? Anyway,” Akimiya replied before Wakatoshi could answer, “you really have to do something. You two won’t be chosen to play in the game if you don’t show a good relationship.”

“You are right. I will try and talk to him after practice tonight.”

“Great! Now, about Saturday. Bokuto and Kuroo offered to make dinner but…”

“Last time you got food poisoning.”

“Yes, so I was thinking you could convince them to get take-out?”

“You can do it too.”

“Kuroo scares me.”

“No, he does not,” Wakatoshi immediately replied and Akimiya laughed. Akimiya could be afraid of many things and people, yet when it counted he was brave and most importantly, he was not afraid of his friends, no matter how big they were.

“Maybe not. But Bokuto will do puppy eyes…”

“Very well. I will tell him later.”

“Great. As for the film…”

“We’re not watching Pacific Rim again.”

“What? But it’s a classic!” Wakatoshi sent him a glance. “Ok, so it isn’t yet. But it will be!”

Akimiya went on to state all the reasons for that while Wakatoshi just listened and nodded every few seconds. In truth he did not care what film they watched, yet he was starting to understand that sometimes it was okay to joke a bit with friends.

Satori, whom he had told that a few days before, during a phone call, had started pretending to weep, repeating over and over, “my baby boy is growing up!”

By the fourth time he’d heard that, Wakatoshi had disconnected and had not accepted the next two calls.

.

As promised, at the end of practice, when everyone was walking towards the locker room, Wakatoshi approached Oikawa.

“Can we talk?”

“I don’t know, can we?” Oikawa said with a smile, one that said that he was making a remark that he did not expect Wakatoshi to understand. Wakatoshi did, however, he also had no desire to embark on a wit-off with Oikawa. So he just stared at him for some seconds, until the other weaved a great sigh, “fine. What does the great and all mighty Ushikawa want to talk to me about?”

Wakatoshi frowned but decided that starting the conversation by mentioning his nickname again would not be the best way to go about things.

“I wish to know what it will take for us to put the past behind us.”

Oikawa blinked at him. Wakatoshi looked at him in silence as seconds ticked by. Finally, Oikawa squinted at him.

“I don’t like your tone.”

Wakatoshi opened his mouth, but Oikawa did not give him the chance to continue. “You’re saying it like I don’t have any reason to be upset.”

“I understand that losing must not have-“ Wakatoshi tried to talk but once again Oikawa interrupted him. This time by laughing loudly.

“It’s not about winning or losing. I mean, yes, I am upset, but I am more mature than that, believe it or not. The reason I don’t like you, Ushiwaka-chan,” he stressed his name, “is because you have treated my choices and my team below dog.”

“I don’t-“

“What? You don’t remember how every time we met you would say, “you should have come to Shiratorizawa,” he said the last part in a poor imitation of Wakatoshi’s tone, who decides it would be for the best not to bring it up. “And then you told me I have a worthless sense of pride!? Me!?” He started laughing, but it did not sound amused. “You’re the one that said, “right now the strongest team is the one with me on it” but in the end it didn’t matter, right? You still lost. You’re no better than the rest of us. But you… you never apologized. You probably didn’t even think there was anything wrong with what you said, right?” Oikawa walked towards him, only stopping some inches away, and looking up at him with anger in his eyes. Oikawa always looked at him irritated, yet this was the first time he’d looked at him with anger. “If you really thought so highly of me you would respect me, my choices and my teammates, who are all worth at least ten of you. So no, I will not put this childish vendetta behind me and you. Can. Go. Fuck. Yourself.”

With that he turned around and walked away and Wakatoshi was left to stare at his back.

After several seconds he finally moved. He had some phone calls to make.

.

Wakatoshi, while trusting his new friends, decided that he would need his old ones’ help and so called Satori. Unsurprisingly, he immediately told him to go to Skype, order a pizza and get a blanket. Well, perhaps the last two were a bit unexpected, but when it came to Satori, Wakatoshi had learnt to just roll with it.

So at 11pm on a Saturday night he was on a group chat with three of his old-teammates, Eita, Reon and Satori, Hayato being out for a party, eating pizza from a cardboard box, because he’d been told by Satori that if he even thought of getting a plate and cutlery he would be there first thing in the morning to beat him up. Wakatoshi didn’t actually believe it, but he decided that it was okay to indulge once in a while.

“So, what’s the problem, oh great Wakatoshi?” Satori asked once the pleasantries were out of the way, with everyone having talked for a couple of minutes about their experiences in university.

“Oikawa is in my team and we are not getting along,” he answered.

Reon frowned at that, Eita blinked and Satori started laughing.

“Tell me something I don’t know.”

“I don’t understand. Has Bokuto said anything to you?”

“Bokuto? Nah, I don’t talk to him. Did you guys know Wakatoshi has friends now?”

“We’re his friends too,” Reon said, smiling to the camera and Wakatoshi could tell it was for him. He gave him a small smile back.

“Wait, what? Who?” Eita asked in a loud voice, which precipitated Satori to start telling the whole story, making it much more dramatic than in reality it had been. Somehow, in his tale, Wakatoshi and Bokuto ended up in a fight for the ace number – even thought they were just first years and it was highly unlikely either of them would get it before the end of the year – and how Akimiya had run from him for the first week, being too afraid of his frowning face.

“None of that happened,” Wakatoshi finally interrupted, when Satori, for reasons unknown, was saying that he’d become friends with Kuroo after seeing the other in his underwear. How that made any sense, Wakatoshi did not know but he had learnt long ago to not question the turns Satori’s thoughts took.

Eita and Satori just laughed, while Reon tried to bring the conversation to the topic that had started the whole skype chat in the first place.

“Why are you not getting along with Oikawa?”

“It is not me. I have nothing against him. As you know, I have wanted for him to set for me for a long time, so I am happy to be in the same team as him. Unfortunately, he does not feel the same.”

“He’s not setting for you?” Reon asked, and Wakatoshi could see the others becoming more attentive.

“He is, but only when the Coach tells him to. He spent the first few weeks glaring at me, then he decided to criticize me and finally he simply stopped talking to me.”

“And you want him to talk to you?” Eita asked, in a tone that stated that he wasn’t one hundred percent sure of what the problem was but he was willing to at least hear him out.

“I want us to have a civil relationship, if nothing else.”

“Ok, so apologize,” Eita replied, already losing interest in the conversation and grabbing another slice of his pizza.

“The others have told me to do that too yet I do not see why I should. However,” he continued when seeing Satori’s and Reon’s mouths opening, “I did go talk to him tonight after the practice finished. It did not go well.”

“Spit it out, Toshi!” Satori said, “did he punch you? He punched you, didn’t he? Please told me someone recorded it. Did you punch him back? Uh, I don’t see any marks on you,” now Satori was leaning against the camera, as if by looking more close to the screen he might note some new scarring on Wakatoshi.

“There was no violent act happening.”

“Oh,” Satori sat back down, clearly disappointed. Reon sent a glare to the camera, which Wakatoshi assumed was for Satori.

“Come on, just tell us,” Eita requested, with his eyes dancing across the camera. He was probably doing something else at the same time, waiting for something really important to happen for his attention to be needed.

“He said I did not respect him because I kept telling him for years that should he have gone to Shiratorizawa.”

Reon’s, Satori’s and Eita’s eyes immediately started looking anywhere but at the camera.

“You think he is right?” Wakatoshi asked, a bit surprised. He had never meant it as an insult; if anything Oikawa should have felt proud – Shiratorizawa was a hard school to get into.

Several seconds passed in silence until Eita opened his mouth. “Well, sometimes you can be a bit-“

“You’re a dick, Wakatoshi,” Satori interrupted him.

“Ah,” Wakatoshi said and leaned back on the sofa.

“That was not nice,” Reon said, probably to Satori.

“What? Someone had to tell him, besides he’s not stupid. You know you’re a dick, right, Wakatoshi?”

Reon glared at the screen, again possibly to Satori.

“I am aware I can sometimes sound too blunt.”

“Bullshit. There’s being blunt and there’s being a dick. You, my friend, are an utter and first class prat.”

Wakatoshi did not know how to answer that, so he stayed silent. Eita, in a soft voice said, “pot, meet kettle.”

“What!? Who said that!? How dare you, Eita! At least I’m aware I’m a dick. I’m proud of my dickness,” he paused and then continued with a wink, “I’m also proud of my-“

“And that’s enough,” Reon interrupted loudly while Eita rolled his eyes.

They went back to being silent again. This time Reon was the one to break it, possibly thinking that letting Tendou talk again would cause disaster.

“Do you not understand his point of view, Wakatoshi?”

“You think I’m a dick too?” Wakatoshi asked instead, not because he was feeling particularly upset about it – it was not the first time he had heard it, although perhaps never as directly – but because he valued Reon’s opinion.

“No. Don’t interrupt,” he said quickly, but Wakatoshi did not know who he was saying it to. “I think that you can be too honest and too blunt, yes, but I also know you don’t do it in purpose. However, you’re also a proud man and I think deep down, even if you never wanted to admit, you liked reminding Oikawa of what he could have had, had he chosen Shiratorizawa.”

Wakatoshi blinked at him. That was… interesting.

“And you call me blunt…” Tendou said, but in a lower voice than before.

They went silent once more. Again, it was Reon breaking it.

“What are you thinking of doing?”

“I believe I need to apologize. And not just to him.”

Satori snorted, “if you’re going to apologize to everyone you’ve been a dick too, that’s a pretty big list.”

Eita rolled his eyes, but it was clear he wasn’t paying that much attention anymore, while Reon just looked done with their teammate.

“Just accept that you’ve been a dick and move on. Everyone else has.”

“Not everyone,” he contoured.

“Well, yeah, but you’ve been the biggest dick to him.”

“I didn’t know there was lost love between you and Oikawa,” Eita said with a smirk, but he was looking at something else, quickly typing.

“There isn’t! But seriously, Wakatoshi has been pretty mean to him over the years.”

“Satori, believe it or not, but you don’t have to say everything you’re thinking,” Reon said.

“No, he is right,” Wakatoshi interrupted before Satori could defend himself, more likely than not using a joke, possibly an inappropriate one. “I have been a… dick, like Satori says and I need to own up to my actions.”

“Oh man, now you’re going to be no fun… Is Ushijima Wakatoshi finally learning to not be as blunt?”

“No, but perhaps I can be more… delicate.”

Satori blinked and then started laughing. He did for a long time, until suddenly there was a thump.

“Satori?” Reon asked, procuppied.

The answer was more laughter. “I just… ahahah… fell from the chair. Oh God, Toshi, you kill me.”

“I think that’s a great idea, Wakatoshi,” Eita said, clearly not caring about Tendou’s over the top reaction. “We’re not there to stop people from going after you anymore.”

“Has that happened many times?”

“No,” Reon immediately replied, but he was not looking at the camera. Satori was still in the floor, although he had the laughter under control, while Seita shrugged.

“Not often but seriously man, you can’t be that blind. You know you sometimes upset people.”

“Yes, but…” Wakatoshi stopped. He was not sure how to continue.

“It’s fine,” Satori said, being back at the chair and rolling his eyes. “We’ve all been there.”

“I have not,” Reon said.

“Me neither,” Eita said.

“As I said,” Tendou declared in a louder tone. “We’ve all been dicks. Just accept the dick you have and deal with it.”

“Really?” Eita asked, “you had to go there?”

“Of course. I’ve been waiting for years,” Satori answered with a giant smile.

“Why are we friends again?” Eita questioned.

“I ask myself that every day,” Reon said.

“Hey! That is so mean!” Tendou exclaimed.

“That must be why we’re all friends, then,” Wakatoshi interrupted and everyone looked surprisingly at the camera.

Satori smiled, “nice going. Have you surprised your new friends with your sense of humour yet?”

“No. There has not been a chance.”

“Be a darling and record it when it happens,” Satori asked with a wink.

“Well, I have to go. I start working tomorrow at 8am,” Reon said.

“Oh, you poor baby,” Tendou pouted at the camera.

“Yes, some of us actually have responsibilities.”

“Hey, I’m at university just like you guys!”

“I know. Surprises never stop coming,” Eita replied, and there was a little smirk there, the one that he always had when he managed to have a good comeback.

Satori opened his mouth to reply, but Reon stopped him. “As I said, I am off to bed. Do let me know how the conversation went, Wakatoshi.”

“I will,” he promised and with a wave Reon disconnected.

“I guess I’m off to bed too,” Satori said, stretching his arms above his head.

“Is that an euphemism for I’m going to watch porn?” Eita asked with a smirk, once again being back at typing a hundred per minute.

“Some of us have more than our hands for company, Eita-chan,” Satori replied, sticking his tongue out.

Eita showed the middle finger to the camera and Wakatoshi decided that he too would retire.

“I am going to bed. Goodnight to both of you.”

“Thanks, Toshi, you too,” Satori said.

“Yeah, goodnight,” Seita said and in no time Skype had been turned off and he was checking his e-mail one last time. There was nothing new, so he shut off the computer and went to put the box in the recycling bin by the communal kitchen.

Afterwards he went back up two floors to go to bed. The next day was a Sunday and there was no practice. No official one, anyway. The gym was still opened to those who wished to go and while Wakatoshi tried not to overtax his body, he still spent at least two hours every Sunday there.

He prepared to go to bed, and when he finally had his head in the pillow he started imagining all the ways he could apologize to Oikawa. Perhaps flowers or chocolates was not a stupid idea.

.

 On Sunday Wakatoshi woke up still thinking of the night’s before conversation. It was barely seven am and he got ready to go for a run. On it he imagined finding Oikawa’s dorm and going there to apologize. He was energetic and now that he was aware of how he’d been at fault he would like to make emends the soonest possible. But he also felt that Oikawa would not appreciate being woken up so early and it was also extremely rude to show up uninvited somewhere, especially when you knew the person did not like you.

So Wakatoshi went back to the dorm and did his morning routine, going for a shower afterwards, eating a light breakfast and finally, at 10am, he was sitting by his desk and trying to have some work done.

Yet his thoughts just wouldn’t stop. He tried putting some classical music in the background and when that didn’t work moved to some breathing exercises he’d learnt over the years to deal with stress and anger.

His mind simply would not stop and after around thirty minutes of reading the same page over ten times he finally decided that it would be better to find something else to occupy himself with.

To no one’s surprise, Wakatoshi ended up in the volleyball gym. There were some seniors there, who all nodded at him, used to seeing him there after hours. He nodded back and went to get a cart of volleyballs.

He spiked them over and over again until his hand was aching and the cart was empty.

His breathing had barely sped up and he still felt energized, but a bit more grounded too. His mind was finally starting to slow down. Maybe in the afternoon he would actually be able to do work.

Wakatoshi went around to pick up all the volleyballs so that he could go a second round when he noticed someone else entering the gym.

Apparently Oikawa had decided to have some extra practice too. When the other noticed him he immediately wrinkled his nose, but at least he didn’t turn around and walk away.

Wakatoshi nodded at him, not knowing what else to do and it had been a long time since he had felt this inadequate. He was not used to caring about what people thought and it was not that that what was going on with Oikawa, not exactly, but he couldn’t put Satori’s words behind him. He had always been aware he was honest but perhaps it was also true that he had chosen to ignore how his honesty had sometimes been too brutal and had hurt people’s feelings.

He squeezed the volleyball in his hand and Oikawa raised an eyebrow. He lightened his grip and the other went to get his own cart.

Wakatoshi released a long breath and went back to tossing the ball up in the air and spiking it. It wasn’t anything like what he felt when a setter sent a toss to him, but it was still good. He remembered the first time he’d held a volleyball in his hands, how he had been barely able to pick it up with just one hand, and how it had felt like such a big object.

Picking up the next ball, he grabbed it in both hands and looked at it. Nowadays the ball was almost engulfed in his hands.

It was stupid but for a moment he missed his old volleyball, the one he’d left back at his room at home because he hadn’t seen a point in bringing it, since the gym would have plenty of them and if he really needed one, then he would buy a new one. The other one was old and spent and nothing like these ones. He had had it for years; not his first one, but one that had been there for a long time and by this point he only kept it around for sentimental value even thought that really wasn’t his type.

It was strange how one sometimes acted differently from what one expected themselves to be.

Wakatoshi spiked the ball strongly, just as he always did, and then continued until the cart was empty again.

He picked them up and placed them in it and then looked around. Several people had left, but there was still a reasonable amount of players around, some practising alone but most in pairs or small groups. In the first few times he’d come he’d been asked to join in practise games but he’d always declined. Sometimes all that he wanted was to spike, as if sending all his frustration to the floor, hoping it would stay there.

Oikawa was doing serves and for some seconds Wakatoshi just looked at him silently. He was like a bird; it almost felt like he stopped in the sky, like the gravitational rules did not apply to him.

Wakatoshi went to put the cart away and when he went back to the gym Oikawa had stopped and was looking at him. They stared at each other.

Finally Wakatoshi walked closer to him, so that they could talk without having to shout. Around them was noisy, with balls being spiked, people yelling and running… but they were sounds both of them were well used to.

“I am sorry,” he said once he was close enough.

“For what?” Oikawa asked, with his jaw clenched. Wakatoshi felt like he might have been waiting for a confrontation, like he would insult his feelings or something along those lines. He frowned at that thought. Had he really been that bad over the years?

“When I said you should have come to Shiratorizawa, I always meant it as a compliment on your skills. However, I understand that you have not always seen it that way. I am sorry that I made you feel like your choices were unimportant or that I did not respected you,” he thought of leaving it at that but he still couldn’t completely stop himself from going a bit farther. “I still don’t understand completely why you never accepted my invitation but… it was your choice and I should have respected it. I’m sorry,” he said again and bowed.

He stayed like that for several seconds but still no answer came so finally he moved back up. Around him the sounds had diminished; his actions had called attention, but he gave them no mind.

Oikawa was looking at him… he had no idea how to describe it. He didn’t look angry, but he didn’t look happy either. Not confused or particularly surprised. Annoyed? Baffled?

And then he started laughing and Wakatoshi had no idea how to deal with it. Had he not believed his words? Or was Oikawa really so angry that he would never forgive him?

More people were looking at them now but Oikawa didn’t seem to care, being as loud as one could be, even moving to grab his stomach. Wakatoshi had to admit he was starting to get a bit annoyed. How had his words been so amusing?

He was preparing to leave when Oikawa finally started to calm down.

“You…” he started, and he was smiling at Wakatoshi, but it didn’t look happy, if anything it seemed a bit unbelievable, “you are an asshole.”

“I’ve been told that before,” he replied.

“Of course you have,” Oikawa rolled his eyes. Then he crossed his arms and actually pouted. “Now if I continue to be upset I’ll look like a child since you actually seem to have grown up. Why do you always make me look uncool, Ushiwaka-chan?”

Wakatoshi decided to once again let the stupid nickname go by. He also decided that that was a rhetoric question and that Oikawa would not appreciate any kind of answer. So he just looked at him.

Oikwa sighed, “fine, apologize accepted. Now shoo,” he honestly moved his hand as if trying to make an animal go away. Wakatoshi frowned at that but decided that it was simply an Oikawa thing.

“I will see you tomorrow at practice,” he said and started to walk away.

It took several seconds for an answer to reach his ears, “you too.” When he looked back Oikawa was jumping up and he was left to stare at his form. It was just as beautiful as always.

He turned back towards the gym doors and walked away. He felt much lighter and he was sure that he would be finally able to start the report due in a couple of weeks.

.

Things did not change much after that. Wakatoshi kept on leading a life full of routines, meeting friends, going to classes, studying for them and of course, spending a lot of time on volleyball. The only thing that was different from the first month of classes was that Oikawa was not ignoring him or even being rude. That did not mean he was being particularly nice, but he at least now replied to his hellos and didn’t complain when they were partnered up.

“And that’s all?” Kuroo asked two weeks after “the apology” as he and Bokuto liked to call it.

“Yes. What else should have happened?” Wakatoshi asked from where he was sitting on the floor with cards in his hands. That night they had decided to have a games night, starting with poker. He and Akimiya had never played so the first twenty minutes had been spent learning it.

He knew the rules by now, but he was not very good at following them yet, at seeing how they made sense, so he didn’t pay much attention to what Kuroo was saying.

He didn’t receive an answer, so he looked up. Kuroo and Bokuto were looking at him expectantly, while Akimiya was staring confusedly at his cards.

Then the two shared a glance, which lasted for several seconds. Wakatoshi couldn’t prove it, but sometimes he was almost sure the two were able of having telepathic conversations.

“Nothing,” Kuroo finally said and Wakatoshi knew he was missing something, but to be honest he did not care that much. He was not a very curious man and he knew that if Kuroo truly wanted to say something, then he would. He and Bokuto were very honest men as well, as was Akimiya, in his own way. The other man was simply more afraid of the reaction his words might cause.

They went back to playing in silence, but it was no longer as comfortable. Well, he wasn’t feeling particularly awkward but he kept feeling like he was being watched, and everytime he looked up from his cards he would see either Kuroo or Bokuto looking away. He frowned at that.

“What is it?” He finally asked, deciding that it would be better to just talk about whatever it was that was on their minds.

Akimiya looked up at that, looking from Wakatoshi to the other two, who were once again sharing looks, but this time Bokuto was using his eyebrows to send whatever message it was he was trying to get Kuroo to understand. Sometimes Wakatoshi wondered about how he’d gotten to this point in his life.

“It’s nothing,” Kuroo said again, but he didn’t sound as convincingly as earlier.

“I know that there is something on your minds. I cannot read them, so you will have to use words to state whatever it is you want me to know.”

They shared another look again and Wakatoshi was starting to get a bit annoyed. He couldn’t imagine what the other two were thinking of; as far as he knew everything was alright with… well, everything. The two of them seemed to be doing good in school, and while Kuroo’s university didn’t have such a strong volleyball team he never seemed very affected by it.

“We just want to know what you’re going to do regarding your crush on Oikawa,” Bokuto finally said, in a quickly flush of words and it was good that Wakatoshi had known him for some time, because it was no easy task to understand his meaning when he spoke that fast. Of course, just because one understood the words individually it did not mean the whole sentence would make sense. Such as in this case.

“I beg your pardon?” He blinked at them, but they looked serious. Even Akimiya had put his cards down and was looking attentively at what was going on around him. He didn’t look particularly shocked at Bokuto’s words, Wakatoshi noticed.

“You have a huge crush on Oikawa,” Bokuto stated.

“Tendou says it’s been going on since middle school,” Kuroo continued.

“Which by the way, dude, that’s a long way,” Bokuto took it from there.

“Yeah, ‘can’t believe you never did anything. But hey, I get you weren’t on the best of terms. But now you’re cool. You should definitely make a move,” Kuroo said and Akimiya nodded fervently.

Wakatoshi just stared at them.

“I do not have a crush on Oikawa Tooru,” he finally said.

The three shared glances.

“You know we don’t care, right?” Kuroo asked.

“Yeah, I mean, me and Kuroo are both bisexual.”

“And I’m pan romantic,” Kuroo and Bokuto looked at Akimiya, who shrugged, “I’m ace.”

“Ah,” both men said and Wakatoshi was once again left staring at them. Why were his friends coming out to him? Not that it bothered him, but… it was a surprise.

“I am not gay,” he stated.

They shared a glance again.

“Really?”

“Like not even a tidy tiny bit?”

“Remember that we don’t judge.”

Kuroo and Bokuto went on to talk about when they’d realized they didn’t just like girls, but it was when they started talking about experimenting together that Wakatoshi finally interrupted. He did not care if his friends were sleeping together, yet hearing about it went a bit too far.

“I don’t want details.”

“You sure?” Bokuto asked with a grin, immediately being copied by Kuroo.

Akimiya took pity on him, and possibly on himself as well, and changed the subject. “Are you sure you’re not gay?” Wakatoshi looked at him and he immediately raised his hands up, palms turned to him, as if protecting himself. “If you say you’re not, I’ll believe you!”

“I…” he stopped and frowned. He did not think he was gay. He’d never thought much about boys. But then again he’d never thought much about girls either. So much of his time had been consumed by volleyball and school that he had simply forgotten to consider such matters. He suddenly remembered being thirteen, looking at one of his teammates on the locker room and thinking, “he’s cute,” immediately followed by, “that’s disrespectful and I have to think about volleyball, not boys” and so he had done.

Had he… forgotten his sexual and romantic preferences? He frowned harder.

“I do not know.”

Akimiya smiled at him, but Kuroo’s and Bokuto’s smirks at him did not make him feel comfortable at all.

“You know what this means, right?” Kuroo looked at Bokuto.

“Bars! Gay bars! Strip bars! All bars!” The other man immediately answered and they high fived.

“No,” Wakatoshi interrupted.

“Well, if you want we can call two prostitutes, one of each gender,” Kuroo continued.

“Yeah, then you can choose.”

“That would be disrespectful to the one I did not like,” Wakatoshi said. “And also, I am sure that you aware that most prostitutes are forced to work as sex-workers. I will not willingly take part in that.”

Akimiya gave him an approving smile at that, while Kuroo and Bokuto immediately started defending themselves, talking about how they would make sure the prostitutes had chosen their profession of free will and how had they come to talk about this?

“You are not getting me a prostitute. And I am not going to a strip bar. However, a bar is acceptable.”

“Seriously!?” Bokuto asked, starting to jump excitedly.

“Yes. My mother told me university was a time for one to find themselves. Finding out which gender I prefer, if any at all, seems like a good way of starting that path.”

“Bro…” Bokuto put his hand on his heart, while Kuroo wiped away fake tears.

Wakatoshi did not say anything after that and after some seconds Bokuto and Kuroo started talking at the same time, apparently trying to decide which bar would be the best.

Somehow they ended up with a drawn diagram of seven different clubs and at eleven pm on a Friday on the first term of university Wakatoshi was introduced, not simply to clubs, but to hair gel, which Kuroo felt was a personal offense he’d never used it before. It was not like he had that much hair to take care of, anyway. Kuroo was even more offended when he’d said that.

Wakatoshi was not sure how exactly he accepted for the others to not only mess with his hair, but put eyeliner on his eyes and even choose clothes for him. That last part, especially, was a mistake seeing as neither Bokuto nor Kuroo were as big or as broad as him. The pants barely reached his ankles and just like the t-shirt, they were too tight.

“You look damn hot,” Kuroo said once they were done and Bokuto whistled. Akimiya was blushing.

Wakatoshi turned to Kuroo’s closet, which had a mirror in the entirety of a door and looked at himself. He looked… different was an understatement. The clothes made his muscles look even bigger than usual; he looked like he might be able to rip a tree from the earth with his bare hands, while the make-up brought attention to his eyes. His hair was spiked and reminded him of Satori’s. It was not a bad look, but he did not look like himself.

“I am not sure this is what I am looking for.”

“Why!?” Bokuto asked, “you’re gonna have boys and girls after you!”

“Yeah, man, me and Bokuto are so going to be ignored. You should thank us for the sacrifice,” Kuroo said and Bokuto nodded sombrely next to him.

“This is not me.”

Kuroo rolled his eyes while Bokuto said, “obviously,” a bit confusingly.

“I think, Wakatoshi-kun, that in a club people always dress up differently from how they do day to day,” Akimiya said in a soothing voice but Wakatoshi still frowned. He was not sure this clubbing activity was for him.

“Come on, dude, you have to live a bit!” Bokuto said in a loud voice. “You’re never gonna know if you like it, if you never try it.”

That was a good point. “Very well. I will go to the clubs with you.”

“Yes!!!” Bokuto screamed while Kuroo made an excited sound as well, although not as loud. They high fived.

“Come on. The world needs to see that booty,” Bokuto said, already pushing him out of the door, while Kuroo grabbed his wallet from the dresser. Akimiya was laughing beside them but Wakatoshi could still see him blushing.

Twenty minutes later and they were standing at a line. It was not very long, but it was moving very slowly.

“It’s because it’s Friday night,” Kuroo explained, while Bokuto next to them was jumping excitedly. He never was able to stand still for long.

Wakatoshi nodded and they continued to wait, with Akimiya and Kuroo making most of the conversation.

Finally, they were allowed in, and inside it was… everything that Wakatoshi had been led to expect a club to be from films. It was loud, with music that could barely be called that, and it was crowded. Lots of people dancing, or trying to, while others were trying to get drinks from the bar, some were sitting and some were making out. He looked away from those; he did not think that was something you should do in public.

“Come on, let’s get drinks. Don’t even think of saying no, Toshi-chan. You need to loosen up or no one is going to approach you,” Kuroo said and grabbed his arm, so as to lead him to the bar. The other two followed them.

It took some minutes for the bartender to look at them and when he did Kuroo immediately sent a charming smile his way. Wakatoshi did not pay attention to what he said, instead looking around. The club was just as full as it had been when they’d walked in some minutes before. He looked to his left and found a guy, possibly a couple years older, chatting with his friends, while sending him side looks. When he saw he’d been caught, he smiled at Wakatoshi and winked. Wakatoshi sent a nod in his direction, not knowing what else to do, and turned back to Kuroo, who had now eight glass shots in front of him.

“That seems like a lot of alcohol,” Wakatoshi said in his ear, having to get very close to be heard, not desiring to scream.

Kuroo laughed and apparently he did not care about screaming, because that’s exactly what he did, “it’s for all of us. Two shots each!”

“What is in them?” Wakatoshi asked, looking at the orange-ish liquid.

“Just drink them!” Kuroo said and started passing them along until all of them had a glass in each hand. “Bottoms up!” He and Bokuto immediately downed both their drinks, barely stopping between the first and second while Wakatoshi and Akimiya shared a glance before downing their first.

It burned a bit, but it was not completely unpleasant. He drank the second one while Akimiya started coughing beside him. Kuroo laughed at the sight and then went back to getting the bartender’s attention.

“I’m not used to this,” Akimiya shouted at them.

“Don’t worry, they’re not actually that strong!” Bokuto said.

“Unless you’re a light weight,” Kuroo told them, giving them attention for only a second, turning back to the bar.

Akimiya frowned at that but finally downed the other shot.

“I think I’m going to wait a few minutes to drink anything else, Kuroo-kun,” he yelled at Kuroo, who nodded.

Wakatoshi should probably say the same, yet now that he was inside the club… He felt excited. He was not planning on getting drunk, yet he wanted to see if he could go a bit farther. He looked to his right and the guy who had winked at him was no longer there, instead it was a group of girls, who started giggling at the sight of him. This time he actually waved at them.

“You go, Ushi!” Bokuto screamed and then Kuroo was once again giving them two shots, excluding Akimiya, this time of a purple-ish colour.

“Bottoms up!” Bokuto repeated and this time Wakatoshi did as they had, barely pausing before drinks.

“I am going to ask one of those ladies to dance,” he told his friends and started walking towards the group he’d seen while Kuroo and Bokuto cheered on. Akimiya just patted his back.

And so he did. There were four of them and he did not know which one to choose, so he decided to leave it to them. “Would you like to dance?” he asked the group and they looked between themselves.

“Sure,” a woman with long black hair finally said. “My name is Hashimoto Eri.”

“I am Ushijima Wakatoshi.”

“Strong name for a strong guy,” she said with a smile and got up from her sit, grabbing his arm and waving at her friends with her free one. “Let’s go. I’m sure you have some moves.”

“I really don’t,” he replied honestly and she laughed.

“Then I get to lead,” she said and dragged him away.

She moved confidently and so he decided to do what she had said, and tried to follow her moves. He had no idea what to actually do, which she seemed to get and taking pity on him, put his hands on her waist while hers went around his neck. Well, they started there and then they were on his chest and then back up and he lost track of them. She moved around him and up and down and he was pretty sure he was making a fool of himself but Hashimoto seemed to be enjoying herself, so he kept on dancing, if it could even be called that.

“You’re a walking contradiction, Ushijima-kun,” she got on her tip toes and whispered on his ear.

“What makes you say that?” He lowered his voice a little bit when talking in her ear, but didn’t go as far as whispering.

“You look like such a strong man, but you seem very insecure in the dance floor.”

“As I said, I do not know how to dance.”

Hashimoto smiled at him and put her arms around his neck, going back to whisper, “it’s okay. I like it.”

Wakatoshi sent a small smile her way and they kept dancing in silence for a few more minutes.

“I’m going outside for a smoke. Do you want to come?”

“I do not smoke,” he immediately answered.

She smiled at him, “then I’m afraid we’re never going to see each other.”

“Why do you say that?”

She laughed, “with this amount of people around, once you lose someone you never find them again.”

“I see,” he said, trying to decide if he was willing to deal with the smoke for the chance of continuing to talk to her.

“So, can I get a kiss for the voyage? And for you to have something to remember me by,” she winked at him and she truly was gorgeous.

Wakatoshi had never kissed anyone but he was also not a sentimentalist. He’d never paid attention to his schoolmates that claimed first kisses should be important. Regarding kissing, having sex or any other sexual activity, Wakatoshi had always believed that the most important thing was for it to be consensual.

“Yes,” he replied and leaned down to kiss her. He did not know what to do, so he decided to let her lead. He moved his lips against hers and when he felt her tongue, opened his mouth to let it in. It was weird feeling another tongue touching his, going back and forth. It was not bad, but he was not sure he liked it either.

“Thank you. I wish you luck in finding whatever you’re looking for, Ushijima-kun,” Hashimoto told him.

“You too,” he replied and with a last kiss on his cheek, she walked away.

He was left standing in the middle of a busy dance floor, having lost track of Hashimoto about two seconds after she left him. It felt almost like a dream. There was nothing that proved that he had just kissed a complete stranger, someone he would probably never see again.

He decided that while it had not been unpleasant, it had not been something he had particularly enjoyed either. Wakatoshi did not think it had anything to do with her gender; he had thought she was gorgeous and would not have minded to have gotten to know her better, yet he decided what he did not like was the idea of never seeing her again. Not her particularly, but the idea of sharing a moment with someone that did not mean something.

Was the memory of it enough? Was this what people meant with “living each day as your last?” But then, when the actual last came, what did people have to show for it?

Wakatoshi was bumped from the sides and finally decided to leave the dance floor and look for his friends. He ended up in a corner looking into his phone.

Kuroo and Bokuto had sent him several texts, but the content wasn’t very important. They just asked if he had gotten lucky, if he’d found out his sexuality and by the last he wasn’t actually sure of what they were saying anymore. Clearly they had decided to keep on drinking.

Akimiya had also sent him two texts, the first one saying, “I’m not feeling very well. I’m getting a taxi home,” followed by one thirty minutes later, “I’m home. Have a good night.”

Wakatoshi sent a text to both Kuroo and Bokuto saying that he was leaving and asking if they wanted to come, but after two minutes of waiting for a reply and not getting any, he decided to leave alone.

Outside he didn’t feel drunk at all. It wasn’t that he had felt particularly drunk inside, but with the amount of people surrounding him, the loud music and the lights… he had certainly felt a bit more ecstatic than usual. It had not been a bad feeling, he could understand why people liked it so much, but he could not turn off his rational side completely. The idea of not being aware of what he was doing or where he was did not seem appealing at all.

Wakatoshi walked slowly towards the dorm. It would take at least forty minutes, possibly more, but he didn’t see a problem in it. He enjoyed spending time alone, and he felt like the night had given him much to think about.

He thought about Hashimoto, and wondered if he should have made sure she got home safe. It was too late now; the chances of him finding her again truly were slim and she had been with friends. Besides, she had seemed like someone that could take care of herself. He felt a bit sad that he had not asked for her number. He was not sure he would have asked her out on a date, but he would not have minded to have talked a bit more with her. He felt like she would have very interesting things to say.

Wakatoshi did not think one dance and a kiss had shown him whether he was interested in men or women, or both, but he felt like the night had not been a complete waste. At least he was aware that he did have some interest in romantic matters, perhaps sexual too, and that excited him a bit.

He gave a little smile to the street ahead of him. Perhaps he really had had a crush on Oikawa during middle and high school and had never realized it. Or maybe everyone had imagined it. He found he wasn’t particularly interested either way. What other people thought of him had never bothered him, so why start now? Still, he decided that he would find out for himself exactly what feelings he had for the setter.

But before that he was going to send a box of the best chocolates in Tokyo to his mother. She had been right; university really was the time to try new things, even those he’d never even thought he would want to or had need of. He couldn’t wait to find out what came next.

 


End file.
